hold you
by tatty ted
Summary: "Has it ever occurred to you that I don't need saving?" There's a pause before he replied, "Who said anything about saving you?" - —Rita, implied Ash/Rita, oneshot.


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**hold you**  
><em>hold you tight, treat you right<em>

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><p><em><strong>i. <span>Day one, sunday<span>.**_

Today's the day, the first day she's not woken up and reached for the vodka bottle. It could be because there is no vodka to reach for, she gave up her last bottle to Ash yesterday and secretly cried as he emptied the contents down the sink because it wasn't cheap vodka.

She doesn't really know what to expect from the whole detox business, will she experience some sort of withdrawal symptoms? She sits on the edge of her bed, note her bed and not the settee where she's fallen asleep pissed and couldn't, didn't want to walk up the stairs.

If Rita's honest she's a little bit lost. She no longer has a routine, routine been falling asleep on the settee, waking up and drinking until she fall asleep again (_repeat, repeat) _She's just staring at the wall wondering why she agreed to give up alcohol and "get help".

Alcohol was her friend, her only friend.

/

_**ii. Day two, monday.**_

Day two of the detox is just shit, absolute shit.

She wakes up craving alcohol, craving the bitter taste of the vodka as it trickles down her throat. She knows there's none in the house but she checks, just in case there is a bottle she's stashed somewhere. There's nothing anywhere and she even contemplates going to the shop which she does eventually.

She goes to the shop, buys two bottles of vodka and drinks half a bottle mixed with flat lemonade before work. Rita doesn't even care anymore, this detox is shit and maybe she's always going to be addicted to the bitter taste of vodka so why change it?

She doesn't expect to get an unexpected call from Ash informing her that he's round the corner. Rita stashes a bottle of vodka down the settee cushion because she doesn't know what tomorrow might bring (and she's prepared incase its another shit day)

"You've been drinking haven't you?"

He notices the tell tale signs before he even sees the empty vodka bottle on the side. The lemonade's out, there's a ring on the table where the bottle of vodka was stood and he can just tell as her pupils are dilated slightly.

"What did I say if—"

"Oh you know what Ash, I don't care anymore!"

/

**_iii. Day three, tuesday._**

"I don't understand why you're so intent on getting me to stop drinking."

"Because if you keep drinking you'll die, is that what you want?"

Rita shrugged, "we all die at some point. Isn't it better to live your life and die young then be boring and die older?"

"You don't mean that do you?"

"What's wrong with my outlook on life? I'm not going to die through drinking, I can control it you know?"

"For now," there was a pause, "and then when you least expect it, it'll start to control you."

/

_**iv**_. **_Day four, wednesday_**.

Ash is there Wednesday morning having stayed the night, on the settee. She wishes he hadn't because she can't drink. She wakes up before him, sits in the kitchen rolling the vodka bottle from one hand to the other desperately aching to taste it.

She's thinking, is it even worth trying to challenge her negativity into something positive? Try and change her self-destruction for something healthier, (she runs but that doesn't do much help, doesn't open her mind as much as she liked)

Who's she stopping drinking for? Herself or Ash and did she really want to give up her routine of drinking and passing out for something different?

Ash finds her in the corner of the kitchen rolling the bottle backwards and forwards. He kneels down in front of her, "Rita?"

He breaks through her thoughts and the vodka bottle rolls towards him, "I—I wasn't going to drink it."

"I know," he smiles warmly, "I believe you."

Their eyes meet for a second and she smiles, maybe it was possible to stop drinking.

/

_**v. Day five, thursday**_.

Rita didn't drink today.

/

_**vi. Day six, friday**_.

"Has it ever occurred to you that I don't need saving?"

"Who said anything about saving you?"

/

_**vii. Day seven, saturday**_.

Today's a good day. It's Saturday, the sun's shining and she's got a spring in her step. She's decided to spring clean the house because one it desperately needs doing and two she'd swapped cleaning for passing out drunk on the settee.

Ash comes round just to make sure she's "okay", he knows Rita can do it she just has a lapse of confidence where she believe she should just drink. Hearing the doorbell ring she just knows who it is, (call it sixth sense) and goes to the door.

Leaning against the doorframe Rita says gently, "I wish you'd stop checking up on me."

"Sorry," there's a pause before he asks, "can I come in?"

"Wanting to make sure I'm not hiding my vodka bottles down the settee?" She responds and moves aside. He steps into the house and she closes the door and walks through into the living room. He follows behind and when he notices she's tidying up, he smiles.

"Have you noticed the date?"

She frowns, "yes what about it?"

"You only drank once this week you know."

"Oh did I? I didn't realise." Rita shrugs, "shall we have a bottle of vodka to celebrate?"

There was a pause, "Don't look so worried Ash I'm joking!"

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><p><em>finished.<em>

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><p><strong>jottings<strong> / if you like it enough to favourite, please leave a review:3


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